Blogging world?....? What's that?!?!

It's been over 3 years since I've posted on my blog, I figured it's time...  A lot has happened since my last post, baby number 4, a big move to Texas so Jake can train to be a gastroenterologist...  Recent we accepted a job offer in Salina, KS where Jake will be working and starting up a GI wing in the Salina hospital with his good friend Chris Wood.  I am very excited for this upcoming move, Chris's wife, Nashelle is a good friend of mine from when we were in Kirksville, MO for med school.  The job offer is really good!!  I never in my life thought we'd end up in a place like Salina, KS but we visited there over the 4th of July and I feel in love with the place.  I love small communities and just the feel of friendly, kind people.

We have been in Texas for over a year now, it has been a really tough time in our lives!!  (I use this blog as a journal so a lot of what I write and share here is personal (not SO personal that I can't share it) so if you don't want to continue reading than stop now. ). As I was saying, things have been really tough, we've gone through A LOT of LONG suffering!!  I mean these last 10 years have been like that but this time in Texas has been the hardest for me especially.  I have always really struggled with depression, it's just a trial I think I'll always fight to overcome.  At this time in my life I feel it is just a battle that I am literally fighting every second of every single day, I look at each day as a chore, a day to just fight the battle to make it to the end of the day and then each morning I start all over again.  It consumes me, I feel no true joy, just constant sadness.  My husband and children are my reason to fight and continue fighting!  This illness is not something I alone struggle with, (and it is an illness)  I know there are many who do and many who don't always win the battle.  Some self medicate with drugs and alcohol-addiction- which is another illness many face and fight.  No one knows someone else's pain or struggles or degrees of difficulty, that is why it is wrong to judge others!  we should pray for those especially who seem down, those who are more quiet and shy than others, I believe those people are the ones in the most pain.  Please if you see someone who seems sad, quiet, or shy, reach out to them! Pray for them!  Love them!  Don't judge them and gossip about them, you don't know where they've been or where they are.  You don't know their pain or their degree of difficulty!  Maybe something that is easy for you to do isn't so easy for them..   Show them kindness and love them, don't persecute them or assume they are just unfriendly or don't need or want a friend.  Maybe, like me, they are just struggling to get through each second of each day, we just don't know.  I doubt anyone will ever read this post, blogs are really not as popular as they once were, but I felt I needed to write down my feelings for my own personal future use.  I will continue to fight this battle and reach out to others who seem to be in pain.   All my love and prayers go out to those struggling with this illness.